“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, “Uh-oh they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.” Maya Angelou
Self doubt. The biggest dream killer there is and we all feel it at one time or another. Recently I have been having to pull myself out of this rabbit hole A LOT. If you have been following my journey, I am about to finish my Health and Wellness Coach certification through @AFPA and then take my exam. This has me in a tizzy of emotions and a lot of these emotions have me doubting my ability, my authenticity, and my grit. Where do we go when we feel like we are imposters and so many people have done this before me? When we feel like why should I do this too? What makes me different? Here are three things I do to pull myself out of self-doubt and into appreciation for myself and my gifts… and I’m telling you it works every time!
TOOLS: We have all the tools we need right here inside of us, we just need to know how to use them and trust ourselves.
- “Onlyness”: I will use my “onlyness” to give back to the world and create my dream life. There is only one you and no one else is YOU. This is my mantra whenever I feel doubt about my new business or my current business, or being a mom and wife. No one can be ME. Can you imagine if Adele was like “oh there are so many good singers I am not going to do that for a career. They don’t need me.”? Or if Steve Jobs was like “oh, there are already good cell phones out there, I am not going to bother with my weird idea for the iPhone.”? I can keep going; every invention, movie, song, restaurant, book, all started from an idea from a unique individual. Find your authentic onlyness. Use it. Meditate on it. Fall back on it whenever in doubt, because we are all special in our own way and we have so much to give to the world.
- “Pain sets me free”: You are probably like Megan what the hell? Are you torturing yourself over there? Ha maybe, if being uncomfortable counts as torture? With discomfort, comes growth. No one gets anywhere by standing still. Get so freaking uncomfortable that you feel like you will die, and repeat “pain sets me free”.
Comfort Zone—-> Goal —-> Discomfort(pain sets me free!) —-> Growth!!!
Repeat, repeat, repeat. Grow. Grow. Grow. Remember your onlyness, remember your goal, get outside your comfort zone, try something new, be ok with being uncomfortable, because oh the GROWTH!
Greye plays in a soccer league every Wednesday and I noticed she was holding onto the ball too long when she got close to the goal. She would just dribble, dribble, and then nothing. Someone would take the ball away or she would just dribble out of bounds. I asked her, “Why don’t you shoot the ball at the goal?”, and she said “but mom what if I miss?”. I told her “Honey, if you never shoot at the goal you will never get a goal. You have to shoot to even have the possibility of getting a goal. If you don’t try, if you don’t chance missing the goal, how will you learn how to get the ball into the goal? Take as many shots as you can, it doesn’t matter if you miss. It’s what you learn from missing the goal that is important, and then you do it all over again. And trust me, if you keep trying it will eventually go in.”
- Try, try, and try again: We have our onlyness, we have our goal, we have our comfort zone. We bust our way out of our bubble but one approach doesn’t work and we doubt our abilities and dreams. This doesn’t mean that we quit, or give up and go back to our comfort zone. Let’s reassess. Maybe this didn’t work out or maybe we missed the goal by a mile, but what did we learn? What can we try differently? Think deep, get back to that “onlyness”, as Glennon Doyle says “sink deep and find your knowing”. Then get up and back out there and try again!
“There is vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium, and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.” Martha Graham
Recognize your self-doubt and know that you are worthy of it all. Only you can advocate for your dreams and your onlyness. Put it out there, put yourself out there. Go for the new job, find your true purpose, take chances, and become who you are supposed to become. Don’t let anyone hold you back. You got this!