7 Habits of Highly Effective Mothers’
- Problem Solving
Here is my ultimate list of 7 things highly effective mothers’ do to stay sane while raising humans, having a career, and tackling daily chores. They don’t go in any predictable order, add them into your life in little sprinkles but be consistent otherwise you will never see the results. Remember we as women are capable of all things, stronger and more stubborn than a bull, but most importantly we are only human. We make mistakes, are too hard on ourselves, and feel doubt daily because we are imperfect.
Mamas have that in common; we love our children more than anything. What we want most is for them to grow up and live a happy healthy life. These habits will keep you on track in your daily life of imperfections, to take care of you, get the important things done, and raise a generation we’re proud of.
Studies have shown kids thrive off of structure, clear instructions, and predictability. Not speaking for everyone over here, but hey! I am 38 years old and thrive off structure and predictability. Put a kink in my schedule and my world spins out of control. Next time your kid throws a tantrum because you kept them up past their bedtime or skipped a nap, try and understand that you messed with their “knowing”.
Setting boundaries to not only keep your kids safe, but it also makes them feel secure knowing they can’t do it all. It gently guides them on how to act within certain parameters. As a mom, setting your values and boundaries can be with anything: the people you surround yourself with, how many hours you work, saying no to things that impact your life in a negative way, choosing the tasks that are important, having family values for everyone and staying consistent with them. Boundaries are often portrayed as punishments or negative feelings. They are completely necessary and will 100% change you and your families lives.
A growth mindset as a parent is a must. Your day is riddled with tiny celebrations, challenges, obstacles, and fun. Each moment you are growing right alongside your child. Thinking you know it all is gonna have you frustrated and most likely losing your shit a lot. Set the example to show your imperfections, learn from your mistakes, and that setbacks are just ways to grow stronger each day.
4. Problem Solving.
As a mom we all know that in a blink of an eye our child can go from 0 to 100 over something as small as a cheerio dropping on the floor. We have to be on our toes 24/7!! Problem solving together teaches a valuable skill for life, and doesn’t mean giving them whatever they want. Come up with solutions together. Take the time and show them how it’s done. This will take patience!! I know now at the age of 7 my daughter loves coming up with elaborate solutions to problems that we simplify and try out. Sometimes I am going through the problem solving myself while she pouts or cries about it. Ultimately they are still watching you and will hopefully mimic in another problem solving situation.
All of these steps take patience, and discipline, which is where self-care comes into play. If we are not taking care of our health, not sleeping well, stressed out, unhappy with our body, low energy, or have other health issues, we will not be able to be effective with these habits. If you don’t feel good, and respect and honor your body it comes out in other ways. Like losing your shit on your kids. Did you know yelling at your children actually portrays a stressor in your life not theirs? Take the time to take care of YOU. The non-negotiables: Sleep, healthy nutrition, exercising daily, and a solitude practice where you are ALONE.
Take all of these steps and put them into a daily routine practice for you and your family. Routine is all about consistency, predictability and results. Routine makes us feel GOOD. So make sure you power pack your routine with the most important things in your life.
Habits are what make us who we are. Think of the habits you have daily now. Where would you like to become better? What goals do you have for yourself? For parenting? For your health? Practice that routine every single day (even more on the worst days) until it is like brushing your teeth.
“The most difficult thing is the decision to act. The rest is merely tenacity.” Amelia Earhart
Stop Judging and Start Living.
All of us mamas out there are just doing the best we can with the tools we have right now. If you are having a hard time, know that you are a good mom having a hard time. If your child is having a hard time, know they are a good kid having a hard time. We all have days like this!!! I know speaking for myself:
“I don’t have time to judge other parents because I am too busy working on my own issues, trying to become better every day, and my habits keep me on track. “
Let’s get to work!!
Free healthy nutrition and movement guide– Kick start your habits!!
The morning routine journal– (All you need is a notebook but this journal helps get your routine organized. Write down your routine and practice it everyday.)
10 Rules for Resilience by Joe De Sena
Good Inside by Dr Becky Kennedy