My goals for 2021: “Little things make big things happen”
My goals for 2021 “Little things make big things happen”
Looking back at 2020 I felt like I was so focused on the future that I wasn’t looking at the right now. Would my daughter wear a mask to school? Would my business be shut down forever? When would I see my family again? So many what if’s. So many things that I had no control over. While I’m worrying about all of these things that I can’t change I am missing out on what is happening right in front of me. I missed moments of my daughter growing up, my personal growth, the amazing moments I got to spend at home with my family. I will never get those moments back and I pray to god we don’t have to go through another pandemic or lock down, but those moments were precious and looking back I wish I had been more present. I was so stressed and consumed with fear that nothing else mattered. When I went to go write down my yearly goals for 2021 I realized the things I usually want to increase or work on didn’t seem to matter much anymore. Of course I always want to grow in my career and in my personal life and I definitely have things planned, but the word that rang the most true was “Presence”. I want to be present in my life at home, and my life at work. I want to show up 100 percent for my family, and also for work, I want to focus on the right now!
I don’t know about you but being present in this day and age with all the distractions is REALLY difficult. If you know me you know since my daughter was born I have tried to not be on my cell phone a lot in front of her. I have gone through ups and downs of being very strict about no phones to making excuses of why I need to be on my phone and then just being on my phone too much. Inconsistency is not good enough for me anymore. 2021 is going to be the year I break this bad habit, and start making new tiny habits towards less time on my phone. This is obviously going to be a work in progress that I will ALWAYS have to work at. I’m sure I will have good and bad days but research says if I get 1 percent better each day for a year by the end of the year I will be 37 times better! YAY!! I can definitely do better 1 percent a day! I set a few new boundaries that I hope will help me achieve this. First, I do not check my phone until after I take Greye to school in the morning, this is strictly family time. Second, I turn off my notifications at 6pm. Again this is time with my family that I want to be fully present for. Two boundaries that are as simple as turning off my phone, proved to be much harder than I anticipated. I started by putting my phone in a drawer so I couldn’t see it. I was still so aware that it was there, and it was easy enough for me to open the drawer and quickly take a peek. Crazy right!? No shame, let me adjust this to make it harder. My husband asked me if he could use my phone and where is it? I said,”Sure, it is downstairs zipped up in my coat pocket by the back door.” I’m sure you are laughing at me, but you want to know what? I actually didn’t even think about my phone for a whole afternoon, because it was that much harder for me to get to it. Tiny new habit for the win!! It has taken me months to get into a habit, and I still slip up a lot, but If I do I’m right back on track the next day. When I feel better and see results in my life I know this habit is good for me and I will work hard to ingrain it in my routine.
Ultimately, your habits matter because they help you become the type of person you wish to be. They are the channel through which you develop your deepest beliefs about yourself. Quite literally, you become your habits.”
My husband recently sent me this email from the Daily Dad by Ryan Holiday:
This whole thing can go by so fast. Because you have so much going on. Because you feel like you’re barely keeping your head above water. It’s understandable, but if you don’t slow down and wrap your head around this parenting thing, you can end up missing so much that matters.
One way to do this is to look at the numbers. For instance: You’ll probably only get 18 summers at home with your kids. After they’re born, you get roughly 420 days before they’ll start talking, 400 days before they can walk. There will be only 13 first days of school and maybe 4 or 5 graduations. If they learn to drive at 16 and you let them drive themselves to school, that means you’ll only get to drive them to school approximately 2000 times.
Some of these numbers are big, some are surprisingly small. But they’ll zip on by if you’re not careful. .
How you do this math is up to you. What you choose to track is up to you.
But you gotta do it. Because what you’re tracking is your family’s life. And you only get one of those.
This literally brought me to tears. I can’t waste another second on Instagram, checking email every 5 minutes, mindlessly shopping on the internet for things I don’t need. Even when Greye is off the wall at bedtime and I am about to fall asleep standing up, I will appreciate this moment because I only have so many times to tuck her into bed and read her a story. I want to be HERE in my life enjoying every second of every moment, whether it be good or bad. I want to be HERE! When I am home I will be home, If I don’t respond to your text or email right away, know I am not ignoring you, I am being home, being present and I will get back to you shortly. If I am at work I will be at work and be 100 percent present with you and my work. At work( since I use technology for work), I might be quicker to respond on a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday :D. As for social media, I will post pictures of my work once a week, and add some pictures to my highlights so you can see my work and watch my growth as a stylist. Just because I am not posting pictures or stories everyday does not mean I do not exist as an artist or as a person, or not wish to see all about your beautiful lives, it just means I am focusing on my self growth, being a Mom and wife, and being the best hairstylist I can be.
It is honestly crazy how much more time I have to do other things when I am not on my phone. Like spending quality time with my family, working on my business, writing this blog, reading, taking guitar lessons…I can go on and on. Some days I still feel like I am running around like a crazy person, but I realized I choose to do that, and I can also choose not to do that. Do I really need to go to Market Basket, Target, and Trader Joes? No! I can prioritize and see what is most important and choose how busy I am going to be for that day. Same goes for my phone, email, and social media. I am in control and will time block and prioritize accordingly. I only get this one life, my daughter is only going to be 5 years old once, my husband and I are only going to be young once, each day is a blessing and I am going to make the most of it by making the best choices for my life right now.
Here are a couple things I wrote down to work on in 2021:
2021 Daily Goals
1. Be present .
2. Practice getting 1 percent better each day with my phone, email, or social media usage.
3. Practice the four agreements: Be impeccable with your word, Don’t take anything personally, Don’t make assumptions, Always do your best.
4. Practice the guitar.
You might think these are silly or impossible goals, but for me I am going to focus on the tiny gains each day (the 1 percent) and celebrate it. This is where I am at in my life right now and what I think will make my life better. I am going to trust the process, work hard, play hard, and love hard, be kind to others and myself, and most of all be patient because nothing happens overnight. I wrote “practice” above because life is a practice, there is no such thing as a perfect human being. We are all learning and growing on repeat forever. Happy goal setting!! Let’s crush this!
There is no right time. There is only right now. You get one life. This is it. And it’s not going to begin again. It’s up to you to push yourself to make the most of it and the time to do it is right now.
Books- James Clear “Atomic Habits”
Mel Robbins “The 5 second rule”
Pictures- Elle Darcy Photography