Let’s jump into our third week of Encouragement for Moms Part 3. These features come from Empowerhood , a series that originated in our newsletter and is now being turned into a podcast. Each week a mom shares an experience within motherhood that changed them as a mom. It could be a mistake, a crazy birth story, financial difficulty, infertility, loss, abuse, addiction, a career choice, divorce, you name it. We all have a story and putting it out there for others to hear and know they are not alone is truly empowering. There is no shame in struggle, only learning and growth. When the words hit the paper you can let it all go. We are all in this together. Sign up here to receive these inspiring stories every Monday morning.
If you have a story that could encourage and help other mamas, please reach out to me. I tell each of my moms; you do not have to be a writer, have the correct grammar, be famous or an influencer. Being you, and telling your unique experience is important! Just say what feels true in your heart, what might feel hard to put out into the world. The hard things always set us free.
“You CAN have it all: the career, the family, the hobbies…”
At least, that’s what we were told, right?
It’s funny to me to think back on my college days, when I pictured my life in a certain way: I saw myself as a successful attorney with 3 kids, a doting husband and an active social life. Things didn’t exactly turn out that way. Not only did I NOT go to law school, but I pivoted completely from my undergrad and graduate degrees and started my own business (more on that later).
I moved to Scotland fresh out of college, got married, started grad school, and had my first baby, all within 18 months. Despite my determination to live my life 3,000 miles from home, the birth of my son pulled me back down to earth. I knew I needed the physical and moral support of my immediate family, so we made the move back to New York and started our lives, again, from scratch.
Fast forward 9 years later…
Fast forward almost 9 years later to a life that looks much different than what I’d imagined when I was 19. I run my own business, live 20 minutes from my childhood home, and have 4 little boys, identical to my husband.
The idealism that once pulsed through my veins as a youth has transformed to a never-ending enthusiasm for entrepreneurship and motherhood. I am often asked how I do it all: the homeschool, the parenting (with limited sleep), running a business, and staying fit. The truth (and what I most often say) is that I don’t. I often feel like I’m failing at at least one task on my plate at any given time. “Juggling” is an understatement when I feel more like I’m riding on a unicycle, balancing a ball on my head, all while pedaling uphill (can you picture that?). I truly feel like at any moment, I could drop the ball completely.
There is no way to do it all.
While this may sound very overwhelming and pessimistic, I am telling you this for a purpose. Truly, there is NO way to have it all. At least – you can’t have it all by yourself. Back in 2019, about a year into running my business, I told myself my word of the year was “delegate.” It was the only way that I could continue moving forward with my business, my family, and my own wellness (“self-care,” if you will). It was that year that I decided that I needed to do things in a way that worked for me, and not in the way that world told me to.
As chaotic as things can be sometimes, having children (and doing all the other things) has taught me the principle of scarcity: of time, of energy, and of attention. Time is so fleeting, so, more often than not, I choose my family over everything else. As a self-proclaimed people pleaser, this can be a lot harder in real time. Prioritizing my day to put my family before my business has most definitely cost me profit over the past 4 years. Sometimes I wonder where my business would be if I did not have other obligations. I wonder, but I don’t wish.
Balance is hard, perhaps impossible.
I do wish I had all the answers on how to balance life as a modern woman. The truth is that it’s an ongoing process. I ask for help when I need it and swallow my pride when I have to make hard decisions. I do not have it all figured out, even if it seems that way. All I can offer to other moms is the reassurance that you are not alone. Balance is hard, perhaps impossible, in many cases. Choose the things in your life that you’ll remember – the most important people and moments that you can’t get back. And when you make a hard decision, move forward with confidence, humility, and grace.
Love,
Nora Matthew
Stay Encouraged!
You can find Nora here on IG and also at her gym Her strength studio. She is incredible helping mamas get strong every single day.
We have some exciting news coming soon! Keep an eye out and in the meantime stayed tuned on the blog each week for inspiration, children’s and women’s health tips. If you loved Nora’s story you can read Part 1 and Part 2.
Is your family experiencing sleep difficulties? Are you ready to get your health back on track after becoming a mom? Reach out to schedule your free call! We would love to meet and connect with you.
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